every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize