I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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