Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
