I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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