I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
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he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
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Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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