wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Randomize