I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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