Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
