Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
