So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
