She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
