i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Randomize
