can we get nightvision for the apartment?
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
this just has baby written all over it
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
