Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
