Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
