Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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