i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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