Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
