If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
