ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
