Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
