Well apparently he's into motor boating.
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
