somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Randomize
