Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
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I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
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I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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