I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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