My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Randomize
