Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
