you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Randomize
