Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
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i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
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If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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