when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
