I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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