Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize