I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Your topless pictures make me question reality
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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