u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
