I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize