Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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