And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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