I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Randomize
