Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
