and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
from now on my penis is your penis
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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