you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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