I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
did i just pee glitter
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Randomize
