I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
