thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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