Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize