There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Randomize
