An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
