I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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