when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Randomize
