thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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