All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
