Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
