did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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