I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
