and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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