her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Everclear isn't food dammit
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
